Historically, India has held its women in very high esteem in pre vedic era, there were women like Aditi and Maitraiyi who had proved their intelligence to the world. Women in this period were treated as equals and were even free to debate publicly with men.
Then somehow the society changed its face and started to become more and more rigid towards its women. There are scriptures like Manusmriti, which preach that women are fit to be kept under subordination, during her childhood she must be under the control of her father, in her youth under the control of her husband and during old age under the control of her son. However disgusting it might seem to people like me and you today, the truth is that our religious texts are full of such illogical male chauvinism. And the society we live in today is a rudiment of this Vedic era. Even today, upon death, cremation by a son is believed to send the parents to heaven. Till date, a women's identity is determined by the men in her life. She is identified by her father's identity, then her husband. Having a son brings a ray of hope in her otherwise subordinated life. Only on having a son can she look forward to subordinate and have a say over another women's life- her daughter-in-law. A son wins her a position which she herself could have never achieve.
But do these beliefs hold true even in these modern times? Are sons valued for they are physically stronger than daughters when they grow up? Or because parents think that because of our societal setup he'll look after them? Or when he would make his own wife to take care of them? Or do they look forward to the dowry his bride would bring home? Or because he will carry forward the paternal family name? Also in our country, there is no government backed social security for elderly people and crime rates against them are quite high. Thus the sons who are expected to live with their parents double up as old age security as well as a source of economic security.
But do these beliefs hold true even in these modern times? Are sons valued for they are physically stronger than daughters when they grow up? Or because parents think that because of our societal setup he'll look after them? Or when he would make his own wife to take care of them? Or do they look forward to the dowry his bride would bring home? Or because he will carry forward the paternal family name? Also in our country, there is no government backed social security for elderly people and crime rates against them are quite high. Thus the sons who are expected to live with their parents double up as old age security as well as a source of economic security.
But by pinning up such our hopes around the sons, we literally teach them that for us they are an investment and they are bound to pay up when he grows. We invariably attach selfishness to our love. These hopes, make most of the sons feel more detached. They eventually get to see the truth behind the special treatment. They feel they deserve more than girls and whatever their parents do for them is their right. Its their right to be pampered and its their right to be treated better than their sisters. A denial from a woman hurts the ego of many such men. In this psyche is rooted many of today's conflicts between the two genders.
Girls on other hand feel love for their parents in usual way. As they are under no social contract to pay back for the love and money invested in them by the parents. In addition to affection they might also feel thankful for being educated and allowed by the parents to become self dependent. Because in our society, parents can easily get away with only educating and investing in the son. And if parents do anything more for their girl child, it's surely out of selfless love for their daughter.
Girls on other hand feel love for their parents in usual way. As they are under no social contract to pay back for the love and money invested in them by the parents. In addition to affection they might also feel thankful for being educated and allowed by the parents to become self dependent. Because in our society, parents can easily get away with only educating and investing in the son. And if parents do anything more for their girl child, it's surely out of selfless love for their daughter.
